Sunday, April 22, 2012

Sorry Father, it's been almost three months since my last blog entry. I'll do better, I promise. For penance I promise to post 100+ photos, videos and benign quotes to my Pinterest page.

Besides the small, steady stream of reminders from friends and family to get back on the horse, I haven't had the inspiration. Okay, that's untrue. I've produced a list of a good 20+ topics I'd love to indulge in. To ensure no negative repercussions, my lawyer and therapist (I actually don't have the latter, but it sounds cool) recommend I wait another six months to a year.

You know what's the most interesting thing about a divorce (there, I wrote the dirty word)? Your relationships with short & long-term friends, neighbors, co-workers and acquaintances changes overnight. Seriously - it was liking watching a social seismic shift right in front of your eyes. I huge chasm of awkwardness physically shaking the foundations of almost all relationships. A divorce, as a good friend told me recently, forces everyone around you to take inventory of their own situation. Being the natural narcissistic ass that I am, I never thought of that. Could this explain the change? Or, as I actually see it, people just don't know how to broach the subject or find it too uncomfortable to talk about and have just chosen to back away? I honestly don't know. I wish I did.

There's no winners in the situation. There never was meant to be. But I do miss the dynamic and closeness I had worked years to build. I felt a part of the neighborhood, a part of a network of people and I appreciated and respected it. But, that's a thing of the past now - I'm rebuilding and cherishing what I do have with the friends who "circled the wagons" during those dark days. They are the foundation of my future.

Boy, that was a lot of dribble. Let's talk positive for a moment. Some twenty years ago, a friend and I were driving across the University Bridge after work at the Cafe Allegro in her 1971 VW Van going back to the house in the Central District. The reason I remember the location, the person and even the car is that I was given an unsolicited, unexpected and one of the most heart-felt observations of me by a friend. She said, "Mikky, you can tell what kind of person you are by the people you are friends with. And you have some amazing people around you. You're a real good person." Karen, thank you again, albeit two decades later. I've built on that over the years and truly cherish and love all those around me.

Peace out.


  1. Well, I don't know if you remember but I really have no filter so I am actually one of the ones on the sideline wondering what the heck happened? And if I lived in Chicago I would've dragged you out to lunch ages ago to demand the full story. I am always sad to see any couple break-up but unfortunately it is a natural part of life as we all grow and change. Aaaah ... the Allegro. And Gerald, Paul, Lara, Ellen ... those are the people I can remember off the top of my head. Not sure if they were still there when you were.

  2. Yes, this was during those days (Ellen was my roommate during this time! Crazy!). It was another friend Karen who worked there who told me those great words. I'm happy for those days and how they shaped me.